On a Nicer Note

My sister-in-law Kristy, who crocheted Lizzy's blessing dress, started a group that makes hats for preemie babies. She named it Lizzy's League. I might have mentioned it before, but yesterday she asked me to write a short poem from Elizabeth's perspective that she could put with the hats and this came to me shortly after.

Hello little one
welcome to life
you came a little early
but that’s alright

It might be hard
There might be fright
but you will make it
And it’s worth the fight

This hat was made
to keep you warm
and because I’m so glad
that you were born

Now enjoy this gift
from me to you
I share it because
I’m a preemie too

Love Lizzy

With Age Comes Wisdom

At least, that's how the saying goes. But this morning I'm not feeling terribly smart despite being one year older. How many years am I now?

And I don't mean I'm smarter than my age. This morning she woke up around the time her 6AM feed started so I went to sit with her and found this adorable moment.

She had also been up most of her midnight feed so I do need to recognize that I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Though I handled it very graciously and calmly, it did tire me out to not sleep through her feed. Anyway, after she fell back asleep during her 6 feed, I attempted to go back to bed, but was interrupted from dangling on the precipice of deep sleep by a knock at the door from the gas company. They had come the day before and told me they needed to do some work on our line, but moving the car was not mentioned and can I please do so now. So I did, and then they let me know that they needed to dig in our side yard so I tried to find a way to block access to it to keep the dogs out of their way and at the same time locked myself out of the house.

After checking windows and doors, and trying not to hyperventilate while I cried, some of the crew took notice of me and asked what was wrong. More time than I care to think about and one broken door jamb later, I sent this to Justin to let him know we were ok.

I couldn't even crack a smile in relief, I was so devastated by my mistake. (The angle only makes it look like a smile) She had thrown up but thankfully she's been doing that without choking on it for quite some time. She was crying, but not totally freaking out like me.

The damage. The guy that broke it said he would fix it for us. We'll see how that goes since the part that holds the lock is completely torn out.

Lizzy was happy to sit in her bouncy seat while I made them rice crispy treats as a thank you.

Later on I caught her using the crook of her arm to get her binky in her mouth. She's so smart!! And I know that I'm not the first or the last parent to really mess up like that. I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but it's hard to feel good about myself when something like that happens. Though I'm very thankful it wasn't the car. I thank Heavenly Father that she was watched over while I was trying to get back inside, that those workers were so kind and worked so hard to get me back in with no judgement, and that I can have a heart full of gratitude and maybe even forgive myself for this.